Here You Go, Andrea!

Because you asked so nicely!

And, wow, did it warm my heart to look at the progress Ellie's made these past four years. She's my girl.


Ellie at six months post conception :-)...


Four weeks old. No one thought there was anything going on with Ellie other than normal preemie stuff. At this point, the only thing keeping her in the NICU was the feeding issues. As per a typical preemie, Ellie had a difficult time sucking-swallowing-breathing. Truth be told, feeding Ellie was a struggle that entire first year. Man, I'm glad that's over!


Ellie at 2 months old. This was the first time that we ventured out to a restaurant as a family of three. Ellie always had to be fed upright, otherwise she'd projectile vomit. Not the thing you want to happen at The Cotton Patch Cafe...


Shortly after her first birthday (she's 14 months here). I picked this picture because I distinctly remember how amazing it was to zip Ellie around in the front of the cart seat. It took her SO LONG to gain the balance needed to sit in the cart, which made it really difficult to go out shopping with her. She was able to sit up for 10ish seconds at her first birthday, and I guess that was enough balance to keep her upright in the cart too.


Ellie had just turned two in this picture. Her balance was getting a lot better, but she still wasn't able to sit up independently. I remember often propping her up against the wall here (so she was looking into the kitchen), and setting out her toys. She'd play there for a long time! But, she was still pretty immobile. She wasn't crawling or bunny-hopping yet. If she'd fall over, she'd be stuck.


At two-and-a-half, Ellie was finally able to sit up independently! Those of you in the "therapy world" know that the sitting she's doing in this picture is called W-sitting. It's not the best way to sit, but it requires the least amount of balance (W-sitting puts a lot of strain on the hips and knees, so even now, we have to be careful that Ellie doesn't stay in that position too long). Ellie's ability to independently sit changed our lives! It allowed her so much freedom! By this time, she was crawling/bunny-hopping around too (I think she started that shortly after turning 2). It was a really cool time of exploration for Ellie. She was able to move around and play upright all on her own. GOOD TIMES.


Last summer, when Ellie was 3. Last year, she started pulling to a stand a lot more, and her leg strength really improved. Around this time, she also started taking some steps in her walker.


This picture was taken last week, a few days after Ellie turned four! We had made all those pretty Play-Doh butterflies and were taking pictures to show them off to Daddy. She's sitting on the table without any support, lifting her arms above her head. THAT is an incredible feat for Ellie! This movement requires a LOT of balance. Sweet girl!

Ellie's Birthday

I just realized that I haven't yet posted any Ellie-birthday pics. 'Course, we didn't get a lot of them, since we were so busy with the actual parties, but you'll get the idea.

This was the best birthday yet. I think I have figured out the secret: plan her birthday party for the 14th, instead of the 15th (her actual birth day). March 14, 2006 is the day we sat in the neurologist's office, looking at Ellie's MRI films...the day we were told that our daughter had suffered a "significant brain injury". Probably the worst day of my life. Hence, March 14th is a sucky, sucky day.

It worked best this year to plan Ellie's party for the 14th and I'm so glad we did. My brain was consumed with making sure that the cream was on the table and that Ellie didn't get too much of the Cookie Monster Blue icing on the carpet. I hardly had a chance to think of "the anniversary". It was good.

And the day after Ellie's party, on her actual birthday, we celebrated her life and accomplishments. I felt relatively happy. Of course, I had my moments. This isn't what I had hoped or dreamed for my four-year-old. I never imagined that on my daughter's fourth birthday, we'd be strapping her onto the tricycle that we'd have to push, instead of teaching her how to ride a training-wheel bike. But, hey, she's lovin' her little Elmo trike, so it's okay.

Tee hee, can you tell I'm feeling happier today?!

Enjoy the pics of my precious four-year old princess...


On Ellie's actual birthday, when the sun finally peaked through the clouds and it was above freezing!


I also just realized that I haven't posted pictures of Ellie's new glasses! Look at that little mini-me! Aren't they cute? They're also really helping her vision, which is the best news yet. She leaves them on, and the only time she touches them, is to push them back up on her nose. Yay!


Notice the Cookie Monster cake? Another one of Richie's creations. Kid you not! Ellie got her Sesame Street party wish, that's for sure!


Ellie's first party, thrown a couple of weeks before her birthday. And, of course, the famous Oscar cake.


We went bowling for one of Ellie's parties. The first time Ellie's been in a bowling alley. It was a day to remember...

Still Here...

Don't y'all be calling 911 or Nancy Grace. I'm still here. Safe. Not kidnapped. Not murdered. Not frozen in a ditch.

I'm just finding it really hard to get out of this funk and find the words to express what's going on in my heart and head. Perhaps I misdiagnosed the "mini" part.

NOW, back to the "Don't call 911" sentiment. Don't be calling a shrink or sending me sample packets of Prozac. I'm okay!

For me, being a little "down in the dumps" (which is very different from depressed. Believe me, I know how to self-diagnosis that one now!) manifests itself as writer's block. So, for those of you who are faithful readers and haven't seen me smile or heard me cackle in real life, be assured. I'm doing both of those things quite frequently!

Not to be rude and leave you hanging, but I will admit that there are some emotionally-challenging things going on in my life right now that I don't feel comfortable blogging about quite yet. For those of you who pray, I'd selfishly ask for you to mention me to our good God when you talk to Him. Richie and I would love infinite wisdom when making some big decisions about our family. I'm sure you can guess a little of what's going on, but I'll just leave it at that for today.

And now I will go back to the great pick-me-up that is known as March Madness. I'm currently beating Richard by 2 points in our bracket, but I need some big wins tonight to sustain that! Otherwise, I'll be changing poopy diapers for a week!

Happy Birthday, My Sweet Girl!

Thankfully Here

I'm here. Dragging, but here.

I'm still not feeling like writing anything deep, but I *do* realize that in an effort to rid myself of the mini-funk, I need to focus on some positives. So, perhaps it's about time for a Top Ten List!

Top Ten Things I'm Thankful For Today:

1) I am so thankful that some inventor in Bath and Body Works Land decided to come up with Raspberry lip balm.

2) I am thankful for sinus medication.

3) I am thankful that my sweet friend, Laura, is in Ethiopia with her precious baby right now! Warms my heart beyond measure!

4) I am so thankful that Ellie has the opportunity to go to SUMMER CAMP! Yup, I'm shipping my four-year old (four?!) to camp for the month of July. Sure, we'll be picking her up each afternoon, but it's still camp. The Movement Centre is putting on a summer camp for Ellie's age, so the little girl will be tired! It will be so great for her.

5) I am so thankful for Richie and his ever-so-thoughtful Valentine's gift to me: tickets to see New Kids On The Block! Oh yeah! I will be in the SAME. ARENA. AS. JOEY. (Breathe, breathe...)

6) I am thankful for our jobs. Yikes. Richard and I are just plain blessed to have jobs, period. But, to have jobs that we love... We don't take it for granted. Especially these days.

7) I am thankful that Richie does the grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. What a keeper that guy is.

8) I am thankful for friends. I know that sounds all New Bothwell Cheesy and cliche, but it is so true. I have amazing friends. They love me just where I am. I can be real with them and that is unbelievable to me.

9) I am thankful that Ellie's ophthalmologist appointment went well (thanks for asking, so many of you!). The sweet girl will be wearing glasses again. Sigh. I just hope and pray that she keeps them on and they HELP! The irony is that she needs glasses because she has astigmatism, which has nothing to do with her brain injury. Poor girl can't score a break. But, shoot, is she cute in those glasses! I'll post a pic as soon as they come in, don't worry!

10) I am thankful for HGTV. My bestest channel.

Just a Little One

Funk

noun
1. a state of nervous depression; "she was in a funk"

I was going to start this blog post by revealing to one and all that I was in a bit of a FUNK, leaving me void of those highly sought-after creative writing juices. Yet, when I actually looked up the definition of FUNK, I realized that neither nervous nor depression accurately described my mood. Both words were a bit harsh.

I’m not nervous. No more than usual, that is. I’m not depressed. Just a little sad. Down. Bummed. Perhaps this is what Webster would refer to as a mini-funk.

I am in a MINI-FUNK.

No particular reason why. Perhaps my heart sighed heavily when I turned over the calendar month yesterday. It knows that this is Ellie’s birthday month. My brain knows that I should be celebrating this very fact. Yet, my heart knows that flashbacks of a tiny, lifeless, grey newborn Ellie are inevitable. My heart knows that on the eve of her fourth birthday, she should be running, jumping, singing, writing, all while wearing pretty Princess panties.

Perhaps I’m sick of winter. Sick, sick, sick of it. While enduring the “coldest winter in 15 years” should make me feel proud and accomplished, what I really feel is frustration. I don’t like the coldest winter in 15 years. I want it to go away.

Perhaps I’m scared about tomorrow. Scared and a bit aggravated. I’ve had to change my work schedule AGAIN to accommodate yet ANOTHER doctor’s appointment for Ellie. They seem never-ending these days. This time, we’re off to see the wizard of ophthalmology. Ellie’s vision is not “normal”. I know that. Richard knows that. All of her therapists know that. Now we’ll see what the good doctor has to say about it. As always, I fear the worst: there’s nothing we can do about it. I also fear the second-worst: surgery. And, I selfishly fear the third-worst: patching and/or glasses.

Anyone have a MINI-FUNK pill or vaccine? I’ll give you a dollar.

Until then, know that I’m okay, just resting on the quiet side. I’ll be writing your ear/eyes off again before you know it!



I will leave you with a non-funkified picture though. Here is the SPECTACULAR cake that Richie-Rich made for sweet Ellie for her first-of-two birthday parties. Ellie adores Sesame Street, and "Osser" is one of her faves. If she ever doubts that her dad loves her...