On My Own

Super-blogger-woman I am not. Keeping up with 2 blogs and a Facebook page is rough. Unfortunately, this is the one feeling the neglect. I’m sorry, sweet, original blog. I still love you. (And my readers!)

I’m doing okay.

Gettin’ the nervous stomach. Upping my dose of Tylenol PM. But okay.

There will be much surgery/hospital/recovery whining yet to come this week, so I think I will blog about a different topic today.

Independence.

It’s a word that many people would use to describe me. It’s a word I would use to describe myself. Or, at least WOULD HAVE used.

There was a time, in my early 20s, when I thought I’d never get married…because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to ever rely on A BOY for anything. Especially something as integral as self-worth. I wanted to maneuver through life on my own, because I could, and I could do it well.

Then Richard messed it all up with his goodness and brilliance.

We’ve been married for nearly ten years. Even while we were dating, we discussed at length (prompted by me, of course) what our marriage would look like. Richard and I entered into marriage as an equal partnership, a captain-less team.

It has remained that way. I am so thankful. We lead our family TOGETHER, and it works fabulously for us. I can truthfully divulge that we have never been in a situation where one of us has been unwilling to compromise. I LOVE our equal partnership.

I also love Richard’s ability to feed my independence. He knew the woman he married! He knew I needed to be Chrystie, not just “Richard’s wife” or, later, “Ellie’s mom”. He also knew that 50% of the “work” would fall on his shoulders. After 10 years, I think we’ve figured out our roles and jobs.

It’s Richard’s job to put the car seat in and out of the car when needed.

It’s Richard’s job to blow up Ellie’s air mattress when we sleep in a hotel.

It’s Richard’s job to pick up the rental car and figure out the insurance coverage.

It’s Richard’s job to program the GPS.

It’s Richard’s job take pictures and download them to the computer.

It’s Richard’s job to drive in a strange, big city.

It’s Richard’s job to take Ellie out of the tub.

It’s Richard’s job to make a late-night grocery trip.

(Just for the record, I have my share of jobs too. That, however, is a post for a different day!)

Guess what? Richard’s not here in Vancouver (yet). So, Richard’s jobs became MY jobs this week. Before I left, we spent a few evening hours together, going through the “how to”s of each task. I had to learn.

It’s been good for me. It took this week to realize how dependent I’ve become on Richie. While it’s wonderful to have someone to lean on, I also feel better about myself when my head is out of the sand. I am really proud of myself for powering through and accomplishing each of these “Richie jobs”. (Though, please pray that we don’t have an accident in the rental car because I’m not sure I have the car seat in completely correct, nor am I convinced I signed up for the right insurance at the Thrifty desk…)

I’ve also fallen even more in love with that husband-guy of mine. He’s such a keeper. I love that he’s made my life so easy by taking these responsibilities off my shoulders.

I’m very ready for Richard to join us here in Vancouver. I’m ready for him to do some of the driving. I’m ready for him to be in charge of supper. Mostly, though, I’m ready for the emotional support he gives. He hugs my heart and the world is better when he is near.

So, rah! rah! to me, for conquering and accomplishing. And, Thank You Jesus that I only have to do it for one more day.