Grrrrr....

Ok, kids.

I need your prayers. Richard needs your prayers because I need your prayers. And, Ellie, well, she needs your prayers because her mommy and daddy are on the brink of losing it.

I haven't yet blogged about this, but last week, the Vancouver neurosurgeon's nurse called to reschedule Ellie's SDR (spine) surgery. I thought someone had punched me in the gut. I had not anticipated it. I was not prepared for it.

It was frustrating that I couldn't even get snippy with the nurse because the change of schedule was for valid reasons. A little boy with a seizure disorder was experiencing up to 100 seizures per day. The seizures were being managed with medication, but only temporarily. The boy needs brain surgery and January 5th is now his day.

Ellie's surgery was bumped to January 19th. I know that it's only 2 weeks. BUT. So much is planned. Plane tickets are booked. Accommodations are secured (and paid for). Plans for post-op therapy are in place. I'm finished work as of January 1st. Two weeks puts a wrench in a lot of plans.

A good cry and a Tylenol-PM induced sleep can calm a chaotic and distressed heart. I had just begun to feel okay about things again. I was looking at the positives: Ellie doesn't have to be quarantined over Christmas now, we won't have to deal with holiday airport traffic, I can get a few more things done around the house during the first two weeks of January.

But. BUT.

The nurse just called again. It doesn't work for one of the members of Ellie's surgery team to be there on the 19th. Back to the drawing board. This time, she just left us in limbo. We no longer have a surgery date.

I just sent the nurse an email, trying to plead my case and informing her of all the plans we've made (and how much each day of surgery delay is costing us). I also told her that we would take ANY date, even one next week. Will this email work? I don't know.

LET'S PRAY IT DOES.

So much of this surgery is about mental preparation for me. Knowing the date calms my heart. Knowing when it will be over lessens my anxiety. Planning keeps me sane.

Just please pray. Pray that by a miracle we can get in for the surgery before the end of January. Pray that my heart will beat with patience and understanding, not with fear and worry. And, always, always, pray that we do what's right for Ellie.

Thanks y'all.