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Wednesday, June 17, 2009


That little girl keeps getting more precious and more fun with each passing day. Perhaps I am a terrible mother for admitting this, but I am SO glad that the baby stage is done. I’m just not a baby person. Evil, but true. I love the interaction I get with “older” kids, especially the one that looks like me. Yes, baby bums are the sweetest, and yes, I could relive five minutes of peaceful nap time rocking, but I LOVE this new stage that Ellie has entered. LOVE it.

I get little emotional goosebumps when I watch Ellie playing. She loves to pretend and it warms my heart to watch her feed her dolls or make supper in her kitchen or give Cookie Monster a sip of her juice (cuz, “Mommy, he’s thirsty!”). I have waited for these days. Waited for Ellie to develop into a “typical” little girl with her play. Waited to hear her have a conversation with her stuffed animals. Waited to listen to her tell me details of her day.

‘Course, I’m not quite ready for her to fall in love.

Oh yes, my little princess has a crush! It is beyond cute, as she is completely innocent (of course!). Her boyfriend’s name is Chris. He’s one of the therapist-helpers at The Movement Centre. Ellie adores him. Her eyes light up when he walks into the room, waiting to take her to class. The other day, out of the blue, she told me this:

“Mommy, know what?”
“What, sweetie?”
“I love Chris.”

If my mouth would have been full of something, I surely would have spit it out! That girl is somethin’ else. Four years old and in love.

The funniest (and perhaps most eye-opening) part came later that week, when I was talking to Ellie’s boy-toy, Chris, after a therapy session. I was holding Ellie in my arms, telling Chris about Ellie’s exclamation of love for him and Ellie started to blush and hid her face in my shoulder. The sweet girl was completely embarrassed! While we all giggled and thought it was terribly cute, it made me realize once again how much she understands and how her feelings are starting to develop. She can get embarrassed! I love and hate that for her all in one breath. I’m ecstatic that she FEELS and can express those emotions, but I’m also terrified for what those feelings will mean in the future.

I hate that she’ll FEEL different. I hate that she’ll FEEL embarrassed when she can’t do something that “everyone else” can. I hate that her raw sensitivity will result in a broken heart at some point.

Welcome to parenthood, huh?

My sweet girl is going to be in HEAVEN the next few weeks as she gets to see her crush five days a week for the entire month of July! Intensive therapy camp starts June 29th and I am so excited to see what Ellie’s doing by the end of it! I’m proclaiming it here: My goal is to get the mail with Ellie, as she walks down the driveway, across the street and on the sidewalk in her walker. I am BELIEVING it’s possible! So, neighbors, if you see me boo-hooing at my mailbox one day, with Ellie standing beside me in her walker, you’ll know why.

So, here’s to my beautiful growing girl and a rock-star month ahead of us!


Dawn said...

I'd be bawling at the mailbox too! She has come so far! I was at a dance recital on Saturday and out of 57 dances there were 2 with special needs kids, mostly down syndrome kids but one little girl maybe 8 years old or so had a reverse kaye walker, braces up to her knees, what an inspiration she was. These girls got thunderous applause and I am tearing up again thinking about it. Such a special night. I just wanted to share that uplifting story with you.

Good luck with the intense therapy. Hope Ellie still loves Chris after all is said and done. ;)

Mary Ellen said...

Oh how I feel your heart! I have the same for my sweet little James. I am still waiting for those "typical" play days but I know we will get there. Look at Ellie!!!

I look forward to reading about the camp. I will me praying for that mailbox moment for you!!

Amber said...

She is so beautiful...I love reading your posts.

Southern Eccentric said...

Oh, our sweet little girl... Jess & I were just talking on the way to WV about how we think we're all going to be surprised how much is going on in that little head of hers as she's more and more able to express herself, and here's proof already!

Can't wait to come visit and see how great she's doing! (OH, and see her Mom & Dad too. ;-))

Amy said...

Love must be in bloom this summer. Emma, too, has a crush on one of the summer interns at PT clinic--Adam!! She adores him, and acts embarrassed, burying her head on my shoulder, when we mention it. She just cannot express herself as well as Miss Ellie. But it is definitely a crush; her PT spotted Emma's affection for young Adam, age
20ish. I feel you on so many levels--the joy of watching Ellie play. This is something I dream of for Emma as she is still too "disabled" to play with some things independently. Emma is however using her arms more, so she is starting to play more with toys on her tummy! It is so nice.I can only imagine her being able to hold and feed a doll by herself one day, a doll that she actually ambulated to and picked up. That will be a great day!!

I am believing with you, in faith, that Ellie will make that trip to the mailbox, and I will be crying with you when she does. Or at least when I see the picture or read the post, I'll be a flood.