Realty Reality

Living rooms.  Bedrooms. Bathrooms.  Kitchens.  Floor plans.  Square feet.

My head is swimming with house stuff.  Thankfully, that’s a figurative statement, because the LAST thing I need right now is brain matter on my clean walls.

We are selling our house AND  building a new house.

“That’s so exciting!” I’ve heard people say.

You’d think so.  But, I don’t feel that way at all.  Instead, I feel overwhelmed and even a bit sad.  And, I’m trying to figure out why.  Normally, I would dance gleefully in the studio of anticipation and planning.  That’s what I do.  I plan.  I dream.  I figure. 

But, my heart is singing monotone.

First, it’s a lot of work.  For someone who tries to avoid physical labor as much as possible, this is a definite down-side.  We’ve lived in our current house for 4 years and it’s embarrassing how much stuff we’ve acquired in that time.  I’m not even a pack rat!  We have one kid, but you’d think we were the Duggars by the amount of toys we’ve got strewn around the house.

Organizing all our STUFF makes me feel materialistically gluttonous.  Honestly, it gives me nausea.  So much money wasted on crap. 

Second, I’m anxious.  I want our house to sell for a decent price.  I want it to sell fast, yet I’m also nervous about the interim.  I kinda doubt that the buyer will give us a 7-month closing date.  So, we’ll have to find temporary housing, and that’s always a bit of a challenge in a small town and when you require a place without stairs.  BUT.   We’ve been in this exact spot before, and it worked out beautifully.  Experience, in this case, is comfort.

Third, coming up with the perfect floorplan for the new house is completely overwhelming.  I thought this would be the fun part.  But, it’s a thief of sleep and sanity.  I feel so indecisive.  I can’t wait till we have that final blue print.  Cuz, you know, then I get to worry about picking out all the “inside stuff”….

Fourth, and probably the biggest joy-stealer, is contemplating on the reason WHY we’re doing all of this.  We need a wheelchair accessible house.  Not because Richard and I are getting old.  Not because Grandma is moving in with us.  But, because our 5-year-old daughter can’t walk.  Sigh.

I’ve known for a while now that this day would come.  It’s not like I’ve had some sort of pipe dream that Ellie would be able to navigate stairs by the time she hit school.  But, every time these moments arrive, even if expected, they hurt.  I didn’t want it this way.  I didn’t want it to be this way for ELLIE.

It’s difficult for me to not backspace this post because I realize that my complaints are completely hollow.  We are beyond blessed to have the means to build an accessible house for Ellie.  So many parents of physically challenged kids can’t even entertain this option.  I know that.  I so know that.

And I am very grateful for this opportunity.

But, man, I’d take a 500 square foot fourth-floor walk-up apartment in a second if it meant that Ellie could navigate those stairs.

And, sometimes, I just need to blog-vent.  And then move on.

The thing that excites me most about the new house is Ellie’s bathroom.  Oh, I can hardly wait to start working on complete bathroom independence; something we can’t do until we have a restroom that’s big enough for her to navigate in/out of with her walker. 

And, a fridge with an ice water tap.  That excites me too.  HA!

I'll leave you with a picture.  It's mostly unrelated to this post, but it's been a while since I've posted a pic.  You can, however, see the outside of our current house.  Anyone want to buy it?  We'll even throw in the Bama flag if you want!