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Monday, January 4, 2010

Bang On the Drum All Day...

Today is Monday. And I’m not at work.

It feels weird. And scary. And a bit sad. And a bit happy.

I’ve actually been on my official leave of absence from work for two weeks now. However, with Christmas and New Year’s, it’s been so crazy that I haven’t had time to process my membership in the Unemployed Club.

Today, though, it hit me. Everyone else was getting up for work and school, and I wasn’t. THAT was a definite perk! I did not miss the alarm buzzing at the butt-crack of dawn. But, my heart sighed when I thought of everyone going back to work and school, settling back into their routine, and chatting it up at the water cooler.

I LOVE my job. And I LOVE working outside the home. Oh, there are obviously days when I wonder how everything will get done, or if I’ll ever be “not tired” again, but 95% of the time, my soul smiles as I make my way to work. I love the way my job makes me feel. My self-confidence is boosted almost daily, because I am given the opportunity to use my gifts and the people I work with are amazing in their constant encouragement.

My mommy-confidence is also lifted when I work outside the house. It’s true. I’m a much better mom when I let other people look after my kid during the day. I hate doing crafts. I hate sitting at the table for hours, attempting to make Play-Doh look like Sesame Street characters. I hate trying to think of cool things to do with macaroni and glue. I hate looking at the clock every 20 seconds, painfully waiting for magic moment when Richard is done his work day so that I can hand Ellie-care over to him.

On the other hand, I love that feeling of anticipation at the end of a work day, when my heart starts to flutter at the thought of picking up Ellie from daycare. I love lying on the floor with her before bedtime, giggling and savoring the last few minutes of her day. I love going to sleep on Friday night, knowing that I have two glorious days with my two favorite people.

And, admittedly, I love payday and being able to spend some frivolous money without (too much) guilt.

So, needless to say, I’m a little apprehensive of the upcoming six months and all this stay-at-home-mom-ness. It’s the right thing to do, but not the easiest.

I also realize that once we’re in Vancouver, and then Florida, I’ll be kept plenty busy with my role as caregiver, chauffeur and therapist. And my paid-job will be waiting for me in July. It’s all good.

Christmas and New Year’s synopsis to come (hopefully) tomorrow! But, here’s a photo-taste of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.