Merry Christmas!

Joy to the World

I always loved school. Really. I was one of *those* kids.

But, now, school is scary. Nausea-inducing-scary. I want Ellie to be one of *those* kids too. But, what if she's not? What if kids make fun of her? What if her aide is incompetent and mean? What if, what if, what if...

It was very difficult for me to bring Ellie to preschool in September. I knew that she would have a one-on-one aide, but this person was a stranger to me. I feared that Ellie would be trampled in the crowd. I was scared that the other kids would notice Ellie's "special-ness" and make fun of her because of it. I was especially terrified that Ellie would feel different.

NONE of these fears have been realized. I couldn't have asked for a better aide for Ellie. She has included Ellie in all of the activities and my sweet baby girl has flourished at school. Ellie has made friends and when the kids see the wheels of her walker turning the corner into the classroom, she is greeted to a chorus of, "Hi Ellie"s! It is glorious.

I was once again blown away during Ellie's first-ever school Christmas pageant this week. Her amazing aide made sure that Ellie was always part of the action. And Ellie loved it! I wondered if Ellie would stick out like a sore thumb, but she didn't. The precious girl was getting into each song, doing the actions as best she could. It was truly heartwarming.

Thank goodness Richie-Rich is freakishly tall, as he was actually able to get a few good shots of our little reindeer, even from our back-row seats. Isn't she amazing?!


Lifting up her Christmas Star (*I* should have been the one receiving the star, for having the self-control to not go up on stage and push Ellie's antler-ear hat back onto her head!)


Workin' hard to do the actions right...



Gettin' ready for her special part in the show, when she gets to lift up her dolly...

Perfect!

Making sure that everyone else has their letter...

Singing and resting her tired legs...

Waving her Christmas candle (aren't we all glad they're FAKE?!)

Lettin' her little light shine....

Glimpses

I know I need to post.

I know I need to share my heart.

I know I need to give you new glimpses of sweet Ellie.

But, I'm tired. It's December and the calendar is jam-packed.

It's Christmas. Though my heart, head, and body are a bit weary, I am finally feeling ready to celebrate the Big Birthday. I don't always understand His ways, but I feel it in my bones that God is good and faithful. I want to really and truly celebrate the birth of my Saviour. And that's what I'm going to do!

I have to admit that Ellie's new surgery date was a hurdle I ran straight into. I am almost ashamed to admit that I was heartbroken when the nurse said, "January 26th."

I had publicly proclaimed to my little world that I trusted God would get Ellie into the operating room before January 19th. Last time I checked my calendar, the 26th came AFTER the 19th. Close, sure, but outside the parameters of my prayer. Outside the "miracle box".

I cried. Not because Ellie's surgery date was pushed forward three weeks, but because it felt like God played a nasty trick on me. Finally, I believed. Finally, I felt the faith ooze through my spiritual pores. And then, January 26th. One week short of my faith line. One week longer than my belief would stretch.

BUT. There's a reason why the last two paragraphs are written in past tense. God is a healer of hearts. Through my tears and questions, He held my hand. I don't know why Ellie wasn't miraculously fit into Dr. Steinbok's surgery schedule before the 19th, but I DO know that believing in God's ability to make it happen was chocolate for my soul. Maybe that was the point.


So, I've been making new arrangements and things are falling into place quite nicely. Vancouver accommodations are booked (and we seem to be coming and going *just* before the Olympic rush raises prices higher than those purty mountains). Flights are scheduled. Post-op therapy is a-go. It's good.

Now it's Christmastime and I want to soak it in. I want to experience the holidays though the eyes of a sweet four-year-old.

I want to go to Ellie's preschool Christmas program tomorrow and feel happy...that my daughter has made friends, that she knows who Jesus is, that she has flourished in school. And if she's the only one not singing, and the only one not standing, and the only one not doing the actions, and the only one who doesn't say a verse, I want to be okay with it. Because she's Ellie, and it's Christmas.

So, there you go:

I've posted.

I've shared my heart.

And, I'm leaving you with glimpse of sweet Ellie in her Christmas outfit.

Round Three.

December

I thought my time of daily blogging had come to an end when I turned over the calendar this morning.

But, my childcare provider told me otherwise. Apparently she (and perhaps a few others?) actually enjoys reading my daily ramblings. While I won't promise to keep up the daily trend, I will definitely attempt to keep my creative writing juices squeezed by posting on my beloved blog more often than I did pre-November.

It's good for me to get my feelings onto cyber paper. It's good for me to laugh. It's good for me to share my heart.

And it's SO SO SO good for me to know that you are praying, caring and "listening". You warm my heart.

So, today, I'll leave you with a very short and funny mini-story:

First of all, to catch the humor in this story, you need to be aware of Ellie's full name. It's ELLISE (isn't that beeooteeful?). And her middle name is Florence. While we don't call her Ellise that often, it does come out occasionally (and not only when we're mad at her!).

So, this morning, I was listening to Christmas music while cleaning the kitchen. Ellie was having a jolly ole time writing to Santa on the chalkboard in the dining room.

I started singing along with the song Feliz Navidad...only to hear little Missy exclaim from her chair,

"Mommy, it's not Feliz Navidad, it's Feliz Florence!"

So, on this first day of December, I wish you all a F'Ellise Navidad!

PS: I know that many of you are anxiously waiting with me to hear back from BC Children's Hospital with a surgery date. I sent the nurse another email this morning so please continue to pray. I am still holding onto this invisible, but oh-so-powerful hope that we can get in before mid-January. Keep praying!